It’s been a while since the worlds favourite bin kicking rodent, Furious Gerbil, has written a guest post for GHL&C. Read to the bottom before having a go at FG or me. I should also point out for reasons of my own laziness that posting here does not necessarily endorse the point of view presented.
And so on to:
Odd as it may seem, I do have a mind of my own
I watched the Eurovision contest this year. Yes, that?s right. Don?t judge me for it. I was, however, wearing a suit made out of tin foil and a pink glittery wig. Judge me for that instead.
?But you like proper music, Furious? I hear you say. Yes I do. ?And Eurovision is just a cheesy campfest, Furious? Yes it is. For me Eurovision isn?t about the music, it?s a chance for people to dress up and be very silly. For many people it?s also a chance for people to join in with the party atmosphere on Twitter ? Everyone knows Eurovision is crap. That?s the whole point. It?s a chance for thousands of people to take the piss and have a laugh. Obviously I exclude the Estonians from that: I got a bit of abuse from the Estonians. Perhaps it was because I tweeted that Estonia wasn?t a real place and that the organisers of Eurovision had just made it up. Some people can be very touchy.
Anyway. I was having a lovely time with Eurovision and my Twitter chums. The music was cheesy, I had more bottles of wine than I could shake a stick at and beside me was a pile of sausage sandwiches so high that the Royal Family could have taken a much needed and well deserved skiing holiday on its lower slopes.
Then it began.
Now. There are always people who will lie awake at night, insomniac because of the nagging worry that someone, somewhere is having fun. Usually I can just block these people out. Or tell them to fuck off (Usually the latter) When they appear on my Twitter timeline they are harder to ignore. I would point out that I don?t follow this type of tweeter ? they are usually retweets from someone else so I can?t avoid them
During the Euro Cheesefest I saw tweets without number along the lines of ?how can you people have fun when there?s been a massacre in Syria?
Well, Fucknugget, I?ll tell you how. BECAUSE LIFE GOES ON.
The Syrian massacre was a crime against humanity, yes. But there are terrible things happening all over the world: Thousands of people (including children) get killed every month in the drug wars of Mexico, People die every day (including children) in Helmand, it seems that every day another youth (A child) gets stabbed in London or Manchester.
Why did you mention those things during Eurovision? I?ll tell you why. Because you?re thick as pig shit and can only concentrate on your ?cause for the day? You?ll have forgotten about Syria now because it?s not on a screen in front of you. You?ll have moved on to a new cause that you think is more important and more topical.
You?re the sort of person who posts on Facebook ?please add this to your status for an hour if you?re against hamster trafficking in the Congo? You do this because it helps assuage your guilt and means you don?t actually have to do anything helpful which would possibly force you to get off your lazy arse.
The point I?m trying to make is that I?d rather you didn?t force your half baked and poorly thought out opinions on me. Don?t expect the world to stop because you?ve just read something sad and you feel you should be outraged about it and you want everyone else to be sad and outraged too.
The Twitter is a great place. I like it. You can have your opinions, no matter how wrong they are ? That?s what free speech is all about. But do not ever tell me what to think or how to behave.
Right. Sausage sandwich, anyone?